TRUE STORY: I love old people...

I love treating "old" people... From my experiences, they show you the most gratitude and appreciation when you genuinely try to help them.

I walked into treatment room #2 today and there stood...well, we'll call her "Belle" to avoid any HIPAA violations...and just because I want to (take that Dr. Smelly). There she stood with her short, grayish-silver hair, her face looking so sweet and animate. She gave me her usual smile and I noticed she was wearing her usual white, semi-fitted, gym pants, a large, pink t-shirt, and her running shoes. I smiled back (because like I said..."I love treating 'old' people"), shut the door and noticed the lavender candle in the room that I light every morning became unscented...well...maybe not unscented but it definitely didn't smell like lavender in the room..it was more of a pungent smell. In an attempt to keep her from feeling awkward, I strained to hold my smile and told her to lay face down on the treatment table. Now, sure that she couldn't see me, I gave her my "face of disgust" and let out a silent dry heave... It came time to adjust/treat her lower back (by this time I dont know if I got used to the smell or just stopped breathing) so I twisted her like a pretzel and pushed on her lower back....at that moment Belle's ass "barked" at me. It startled me which also made me let off on my thrust (I also noticed my face was in close proximity to her ass...damit..and the smell of the room went from pungent to rancid). She didn't say anything so I decided to give her low back another push to complete the treatment...then....instead of a bark, Belle's ass let out a different sound...a gargling watery sound.... and now I noticed her white, semi-fitted, gym pants weren't all completely white...well at least not the area that was 3 inches from the palm of my hand (FUCKIN' GROSS!!). Now there was a very noticeable brown area at the back of her pants....I thought I was for sure going to get an ear full...but...instead, Belle sat up, gave me an awkward smile (nevertheless..still a smile) and told me her back was feeling much better, and to schedule her for the same day and time next week.

You see.....now that is gratitude for ya'! I literally adjusted the "shit" out of Belle and...well...there you have it!!....chiropractic can also be used to treat constipation...