MONDAYS!!!

Why are Monday's so difficult for me.....oh yeah....work. One more hour to go!!

Aftermath: I'm stuffed!

Thanksgiving was awsome!!! I love seeing my family! Seeing us all together reminds me of one of the main reasons I moved back down to Southern California. We are truly a unique bunch.

The food was, as usual, very yummy. I think I tried just about everything on the table at BOTH parties. I'm still full....and I'm at work (I should have taken today off..)....I can't believe how full I feel..I hope I don't accidentally "unload" on a patient....I wonder if this is how "Belle" felt...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY!!!

Gobble gobble!!!

TRUE STORY: I love old people...

I love treating "old" people... From my experiences, they show you the most gratitude and appreciation when you genuinely try to help them.

I walked into treatment room #2 today and there stood...well, we'll call her "Belle" to avoid any HIPAA violations...and just because I want to (take that Dr. Smelly). There she stood with her short, grayish-silver hair, her face looking so sweet and animate. She gave me her usual smile and I noticed she was wearing her usual white, semi-fitted, gym pants, a large, pink t-shirt, and her running shoes. I smiled back (because like I said..."I love treating 'old' people"), shut the door and noticed the lavender candle in the room that I light every morning became unscented...well...maybe not unscented but it definitely didn't smell like lavender in the room..it was more of a pungent smell. In an attempt to keep her from feeling awkward, I strained to hold my smile and told her to lay face down on the treatment table. Now, sure that she couldn't see me, I gave her my "face of disgust" and let out a silent dry heave... It came time to adjust/treat her lower back (by this time I dont know if I got used to the smell or just stopped breathing) so I twisted her like a pretzel and pushed on her lower back....at that moment Belle's ass "barked" at me. It startled me which also made me let off on my thrust (I also noticed my face was in close proximity to her ass...damit..and the smell of the room went from pungent to rancid). She didn't say anything so I decided to give her low back another push to complete the treatment...then....instead of a bark, Belle's ass let out a different sound...a gargling watery sound.... and now I noticed her white, semi-fitted, gym pants weren't all completely white...well at least not the area that was 3 inches from the palm of my hand (FUCKIN' GROSS!!). Now there was a very noticeable brown area at the back of her pants....I thought I was for sure going to get an ear full...but...instead, Belle sat up, gave me an awkward smile (nevertheless..still a smile) and told me her back was feeling much better, and to schedule her for the same day and time next week.

You see.....now that is gratitude for ya'! I literally adjusted the "shit" out of Belle and...well...there you have it!!....chiropractic can also be used to treat constipation...

CONFESSION...."hey...it could've happen to anyone!"

All right...I confess!! I did something stupid this weekend...something that I can no longer keep to myself....(Dr. Smelly...I hold you responsible)

Sunday morning I decided to take a shower before I left Lou and Belle's casa. I entered the bathroom with all the things I needed to get the job done...my change of clothes for the day and my overnight kit...I know...manly right?! Sometimes I take the items I need (toothpaste, dental floss, body lotion, deodorant, eye drops, etc.) and line them up so I don't forget to use them...I know...manly. Well, after my shower, my eyes were still pretty dry and irritated from being exposed all weekend to allergens (grass, dust, trees, dogs, the down blanket I was given to sleep with by Dr. Smelly, etc.)...again I say to you...manly! I decided I would benefit from moisturizing eye drops...but when I put a drop in my eye my eye started to burn....I mean...BURN...FUCKING BURN...do you understand! I quickly looked at my eye drops with my good eye and read..."Powerful - One Drop - Deodorizer" I was like...."What the fuck is this!!" I must have grabbed the wrong dropper! ...but then I had no time to lose...I went into emergency procedures mode and flushed my eye with gallons and gallons of water (Lou and Belle your first water bill may have to be on me....).

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for being able to see out of both eyes. I am also thankful for the pleasant odor that my right eye will forever exude.

"Thank you, One Drop....you have changed my life forever...."

Prescription: Blog 1-2 times/week or as needed

My doctors, Dr. Smelly and Dr. Yikes, have stated that I have to "allocate" some of my thoughts to blog format. I think it is supposed to be a life altering experience....I guess we will see.

I have learned a lot these past coulple of days.....I have learned that:

-Dr. Smelly smells like curry! At first, it was a mystery to me what her aroma was but this past weekend I was walking by her and a certain smell began to curddle in my nose...I dont know if the curry type was yellow, red, green, or panang but further investigations will have to be done inorder for me to truly understand this phenomenon...then of course I will have to endure extensive psychotherapy to reverse the negative effects of the tramatic experience....Happy Birthday, Dr. Smelly!!

-BBQ + Sake + Beer + Flag Football + Pinata + Jungle Gyms + Video Games = An Awsome Time and a pulled groine.

-I am supposed to be an attention whore, out spoken, and confident...I am working on it...

-Chiropractic is a ADJECTIVE!!...and a noun?! What the hell?! Don't chiropractors have to prove themselves enough! We not only have to prove ourselves to the scientific community and the public, but now I guess to the grammar associations around the world!........Well, from now on I am a Doctor of "Chiropraxis" that serves society through "chiropractic" care. (How's that, Dr. Yikes?)

......this blog stuff isn't half bad....